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Post by Kandybar on Mar 1, 2024 12:26:11 GMT -5
Good luck with the change in your schedule! I hope your health cooperates.
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Post by galactic-pirates on Mar 3, 2024 13:35:43 GMT -5
60,437 / 75,000 words
Kandybar Thank you ❤️ Now it might seem a little weird to do an update post after 2 days but it's Sunday, and that's how the week fell.
Goal: For at least 90% of designated days time four hours of work There's been 2 designated days. I would be lying if I said it had been smooth. My focus has been... not great in the morning. I might have been sitting there but I wasn't getting on with it for a lot of the time. I'm having a flare-up of panic/terror at the state of the world and it makes everything feel very pointless. I try and put it in perspective. I actually wrote a list just before the start of the year of "things that terrify me that I can't do anything about" because I can't do anything about them. I'm on a ride I can't get off with how the world spins. Anyway, the art in the afternoon has been worse. It's like there's a resistance there. I want to do it so much but actually doing it is too much effort. It's being a struggle.
For the math stats: 2/2 designated days (barely)
Project: Path of Fire (Books 1 - 3)
Added 6k but that did include a revised scene from the previous draft, so is slightly artificially inflated. I'm into Act 3 now. I think hitting March has made me psychologically stumble. January I did the reboot, and the replot, getting the series back in my head and doing so much character work - I also started the draft. Now I've spent an entire month (February) on the draft and while that's still only around 40 days? (I think I started January 22nd) it's suddenly like "whoah coming to the end of Q1 and I'm still only on Book One" (yes I know that's dumb). Everything takes time and that's scary as time is always running out.
Project: Mother's Day Card
I did some sketching work on this yesterday. Then today I did more sketching and yesterday was hard, today... to say magic is to imply it was something more than it was, but you know what I actually want to own this! I am really proud of myself. Sketching in purple is just as cool as I hoped. I had references obviously but I managed to put them together ON PAPER. None of my usual lets "botch the photos together on the PC and then trace" nonsense. I did it legitimately and I am really pleased with myself for that. I had done it just on some scrap paper so I cut it and glued it into my sketchbook to keep forever. Achievement unlocked. Yay me. Now all I need to do is put on the good paper and paint it.
Project: WoW Guild SiteThe forum is a headache and a half. I spent a couple of hours on it this morning and I've now thrown up my hands and am trying to rope in the other officers for troubleshooting. Basically I wish to be done with it, and so I'm like "try and break it and we'll go from there" but I don't have high hopes. They aren't being all that engaged with the process Maybe after a break I'll be able to attack it again.
Project: The Librarians Exchange (Art)Nothing on this thus far.
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Post by galactic-pirates on Mar 10, 2024 12:13:01 GMT -5
67,690 / 75,000 words Goal: For at least 90% of designated days time four hours of work The hope each week is for 5 designated days. There was absolutely no reason why there couldn't be 5 designated days. I did not succeed on a single day. I logged 2-3 hours of writing on 3/5 days, and I did a couple of hours of art on the other 2 but consistent, or true to the goal, that is not. Honestly I don't know what happened. Unfocused, distracted - brain like a bag of cats basically. Not good.
For the math stats: 0/5 designated days
Project: Path of Fire (Books 1 - 3)
Added around 7k. I have 8 scenes left on the outline so I am heading into the "Lights Out" section of Act 3, building up to the big battle (and it is an actual battle - fighting a dragon). I don't know if I'm slowing down as I am afraid of what comes after 'The End' (aka another revision round), or if I am just legitimately tired, or what. Whatever it is I hope it goes away.
Project: Mother's Day Card
Completed - obviously. I mean I had to give it to her today
Project: WoW Guild SiteI did a little. Added a spoiler tag feature and one of the officers bios. There isn't really anything left for me to do until they give me feedback/send me their stuff. So this is now in "waiting mode".
Project: The Librarians Exchange (Art)Nothing on this thus far.
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Post by Kandybar on Mar 11, 2024 10:34:45 GMT -5
Take this as you will, but I wonder if the time requirement isn't working for you? I mean, it sounds like you did write so I'm sad that you can't count what you did do as a success. Is there another tracking method that might work better?
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Post by galactic-pirates on Mar 17, 2024 13:33:24 GMT -5
72,128 / 75,000 words
Goal: For at least 90% of designated days time four hours of work Kandybar it was working until it wasn't so I don't know. I've sort of trial and error tested myself into this time goal. If I set a word count one then I will literally procrastinate all day and sit there getting more and more miserable because "I haven't done my words yet". So my theory was in limiting the time, then whatever I got done was ok. For the first 6-ish weeks of this year it worked fantastic! And since around the 20th-ish of February I have been struggling.
So I don't know. Anyway technically my blood test on Friday was so quick in and out I should have made it a designated day, but ehhh I gave it myself as it was clear I wasn't going to do anything. Then yesterday just didn't happen at all. Monday and Tuesday were iffy too. Thursday was the best day of the week as I almost made goal (just not quite) /sigh.
For the math stats: 0/4 designated days
Project: Path of Fire (Books 1 - 3)
Added around 5k I think? Oh boy yeah... /headdesk. So Thursday I discovered I had misread my outline and written 3 scenes in the wrong POV. I have fixed one of them but I haven't written since Thursday so that mess is waiting for me Monday morning. Note to self, be more careful when colour coding. So I can't really report much success in Act 3 because I've had to 'rollback' some of the scenes I had marked as drafted. It's all fun and games /sigh.
Project: WoW Guild SiteWaiting mode...
Project: The Librarians Exchange (Art)Nothing on this thus far.
I really need to do something. The deadline is now fast approaching :/
I've just been having spoon issues. It's intimidating. I can't overcome the resistance to start. It's making me quite miserable actually - not the project. It's not this specifically it's art in general because I'm not doing it. I want to but I'm not and I feel bad about that. It sucks. I wish I wasn't like this.
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Post by galactic-pirates on Mar 24, 2024 6:37:10 GMT -5
73,645 / 75,000 words Goal: For at least 90% of designated days time four hours of work Monday I got a bit over 3 hours. Tuesday I did nothing. I had no reason not to work in the morning but I didn't (I rambled about Assassin's Creed in a blog post instead, I don't know why). Technicians came and fixed my dryer in the afternoon. Thursday just didn't happen, I literally didn't move really all day. Friday I decided to grant myself as non-designated as I had a doctors appointment in the afternoon that I was dreading and knew would upset me. Saturday was a totally legitimate non-designated day because mums husband was out all day at some kind of car convention, so I spent the day with mum. Her office has been a disaster area for years and we made a good start at taking everything out of there, cleaning it, and then putting it back (did maybe half the room, although it still needs to be organised).
This month is not going well and I have some thoughts as to why. First - fatigue. The initial burst of enthusiasm/energy from the start of the new year/new project has long worn off, and the grind is a hard thing to keep up day after day, whether I like the work or not. It wears on me, the gap between where I am and where I need to be (as it does on everyone I'm sure) but it's exhausting. I can't seem to muster the spoons to keep up with the writing, and also pick up the art, and I have a deadline for an art project fast approaching and so I can't keep just not doing it. It's a problem. I spoke when I started in January about intentional sacrifice. I had hoped my stamina would increase and I could do more but that just hasn't worked out yet. It's a problem.
There is another possibility as well - fear. It's a problem. Both because I am afraid I will never be able to fix it, that I will never be good enough, but also because I'm afraid of success. The status quo sucks but it's familiar. I was doing really well and I am wondering if maybe my subconscious is self-sabotaging me :/
For the math stats: 0/3 designated days
Project: Path of Fire (Books 1 - 3)
I fixed the wrong POV by the end of Monday. So I now just need to keep moving forward. I have 5 scenes left on the outline. So basically not a huge amount of progress since last week. Which makes sense because I only had one day (Monday) writing this week. I have been trying not to set deadlines and instead just accept that I get done, whatever I get done. However, if I had kept up the pace I'd worked at for a month, I would have finished the draft a couple of weeks ago at the latest. So there is no way I want this to go into April. I really would like to type 'The End' on the draft before the end of the month which rather neatly falls next Sunday. So here's hoping this time next week I have good news to report.
Project: WoW Guild SiteActually had some feedback! It wasn't much but I made the requested changes. Until it launches I'm not going to cross it off as 'done' but I think we're pretty much there. So that's a relief.
Project: The Librarians Exchange (Art)Still nothing. I am concerned. Especially as I said I want to double down and finish my novel before the end of the month. What I might wind up having to do is dedicate next week to the novel. Then not do any writing for the first two weeks of April so that I can get this done. I dislike that but it has been my habit in the past. I really do struggle to focus on more than one project at a time. It's a problem. Because I won't progress how I want unless I am more consistent in my practice (my neglected piano also agrees...)
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Post by Kandybar on Mar 26, 2024 12:14:45 GMT -5
There is another possibility as well - fear. It's a problem. Both because I am afraid I will never be able to fix it, that I will never be good enough, but also because I'm afraid of success. The status quo sucks but it's familiar. I was doing really well and I am wondering if maybe my subconscious is self-sabotaging me :/ Kandybar I hear you--fear of success can be just as bad! I'm thinking about you and hoping you can find something that works for you. <3
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Post by galactic-pirates on Mar 31, 2024 7:46:31 GMT -5
84,584 / 75,000 words
This closes out not just the week but also the month. That's very neat and tidy, I approve.
Goal: For at least 90% of designated days time four hours of work So I did more this week than I did for any other two weeks combined this month - possibly three weeks combined! I still only hit the 4 hours twice but I was really close on Tuesday. Also I did hit my writing goal for the week. I should have done art but my brain is literal. I told myself that the novel was my priority this week and I would focus on the art in April, so I guess my brain was like "ehhh don't need to do it now" which wasn't true /sigh. For the math stats: 2/5 designated days
There were 19 days this month that had no reason why they couldn't be designated. Ideally there would have been 22.
I hit goal 4/19 which is appalling at 21%. It was not a good month.
Project: Path of Fire (Books 1 - 3)
As a recap I started this month not quite at the end of Act 2 with just over 58k on the draft. I end the month with a COMPLETED!!! draft at 83,761. It was my goal to finish the draft this month. If I had kept up the pace I started the draft with, I should have finished much sooner than the last working day of the month /sigh, but the important thing is it's done. By done I mean the draft, not sadly the novel. There is still a metric-ton of work to do.
This was a reboot/complete rewrite. Half the scenes were totally brand new and everything was rewritten. There might be the odd sentence that survived from the old draft but that's it. So in some ways it's a first draft, but in others it obviously benefits from having been torn to pieces in revision analysis. I find it interesting that the first 'first draft' was around 70k. I added 5k in revision so the 'final' draft back then was 75k. I'm not good at description so I expect I will add words to this draft too.
Project: WoW Guild Site (waiting...)Project: The Librarians Exchange (Art)Still nothing. This is going to be my focus next week. Deadline is April 13th... Project: Mother's Day Card
Just as a reminder that I did actually complete this, this month. Don't want to forget my 'wins', there's not enough of them for that lol.
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Post by galactic-pirates on Mar 31, 2024 8:22:08 GMT -5
WriYe sign-ups are measured in words. A useful metric but an incomplete one as ultimately it's finished books that really matter. I don't know where this year will take me. I want to aim high but not out of reach. Whatever I do this year will still be progress on my path. With that in mind I'm going to list three levels (and start the year signing with the lowest) as after all small steppy is better than no steppy... Good: 75k Better: 250k Best: 500k
I always want to do all the things but I need to meet myself where I am and start small. I am going to place the writing at #1 on the priority list so while I am sure I will do other things, in January I am making no other demands. If I am succeeding then I can add more later on. I could go into more detail here about how I am approaching the writing but that seemed better suited for the month post. All I really need here right now is the WriYe sign-up number.
As you can see from the quote ^^ I didn't really do very detailed 'yearly goals'. I may or may not edit that post at some point this year but for now I'm going to leave it. At it's core (as I said above) WriYe sign-ups are measured in words. That's the metric that matters for the event, but what I do with those words - those projects and goals, are what really matters.
I have reached my 'Good' target (aka my current sign-up) but what does that really mean?
This year I didn't break goals down into quarters. That is twofold. 1) I am useless at estimating how long things take, and 2) a quarter is too long for my brain to really grasp it. Everything is kinda 'now' or 'later' so I find planning each month much more useful. However, I did think that being a quarter through the year (already?!?!) I should assess what I have achieved. I might not have specified in the 'yearly goals' my swirling thoughts but that doesn't mean I don't have them. It just meant I was trying to start small, to focus on the journey and not the agony of the gap between where I am and where I want to be (mixed success on that sadly).
So what have I achieved the past quarter? - Path of Fire analysed/characters reworked
- Riptide (Book One) replotted and redrafted
- Course 'Your Path Forward' taken. All videos watched. Half completed (bit stuck on the later points)
- Gift artwork/ficlet completed for the B&W Exchange
- Helped organise the Librarians Exchange
- Set up a website and forum for my Warcraft guild
- Painted a card for Mother's Day
What were my secret dreams? In my custom planner I have to write down one thing that will make this year a success. Quite often I write that I want to have 1 complete/ready to publish novel. In that light I'm doing quite well at 1/4 through the year and I have a complete draft ready to revise. However, let's be real that's only part of the story. That is me trying to be reasonable as obviously I want a lot more. I won't publish until I have a couple of books in hand and so it's my dream that I get more than 1 novel ready to publish this year. In that light I could be doing better. I don't know how long it will take me to revise Riptide to the 'ready to share' standard. If it's longer than a month, then the year won't divide evenly into 3 anymore.
There's also the art. I want to do it. I've wanted to do it for years but I've never had much success as I am not consistent and I don't do the hard work. This month for my 'make the year a success' question I put that I "want to complete a sketchbook" but again that's only part of the story. I want to make real progress. Yet at the end of the first quarter I once again haven't even started.
This is why at the start of the year I tried not to get specific about my dreams. It's way too easy for me to get discouraged. As I said before the "agony of the gap between where I am and where I want to be" can be a bit of a barrier. However, just because I try and ignore these thoughts doesn't mean that they aren't there.
So what does it mean?
I've done well because I have been persistent with the writing. I slowed a bit this month but every week I did something. All of my words are on original writing and I finished a draft - something that isn't the guarantee it once was. So my 'good' target is actually good, all those words are towards my future dreams and I can be happy about that.
Where I need to improve is on my ability to start tasks. I get overwhelmed (especially with the art) and my brain pleads fatigue. I need to find a way to push past that because I think I'm training my brain that art = tired, and I'm just giving up.
I need to try and not let time get away from me quite so much. There are things I haven't mentioned thus far like reading, Lego MOC's, piano practice etc. which fall to the wayside far too easily, and far too often. Same with the myriad of courses I need to go through. So many times in the last few years when I have been updating my progress thread I have spoken of my deep wish to 'find balance' as I have the time, I just need to focus and do more things with it. It's not that easy and sometimes I doubt it's possible or wise. My migraines in February suggest that I might have a limit of what I can do with my health issues, and that limit is a lot lower than I would like. I'm not a patient person. I want to do 'all the things' and I keep hoping that one day I will work out how. We'll see with that I guess.
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Post by galactic-pirates on Apr 1, 2024 3:19:08 GMT -5
84,584 / 75,000 words Goal: Get a minimum of 20 points from Tier 1 and 30 from Tier 2
Kandybar suggested I try a goal other than time. I couldn't think of anything because I'm trying to not link the goal to performance exactly. I don't want to say "write X number of words" for example, because that has just led to me sitting there all day being miserable in the past. Having the timer and what I get done, is what I get done, is a good thing. Only Kandy was right that it's also a problem because if I have worked for e.g. 3 hours and 45 minutes (as happened a couple of times last month) - that isn't 4 hours and therefore that is a 'fail'. Now I understand my point which is I shouldn't be slacking off early, and I can always start on the next thing, but ugh 15 minutes? It's not exactly enticing to start something new and requires me to be having a good brain day. So I thought I would try this alternative where I get a point per task. - Tier 1 (writing, art) - Tier 2 (reading, piano practice, lego MOCs, courses etc.) - Some discretion is required because there is no attached minimum time, but I know myself well enough that I won't count 5 minutes so I should be ok - I thought about putting courses into Tier 1, so some experimentation may be required - Ideally there will be 20 designated days in April so the thought is I need to do either writing or art on each of those days (or do both in a day for 2 points) - Reading and piano practice should be daily things really so 30 should be a generous low bar (hopefully).
- I still want to track time and I may add that in as a secondary condition in future - The idea is to try and make progress on more things, regularly, with a lower bar for checking it off e.g. if I do 3 hours it will count where it didn't before
Project: Path of Fire (Books 1 - 3)
The art has to take primary focus and so I doubt I will do anything on this for the first week, if not the first half of the month. After that though I need to get back to it! (breaks are generally fatal). - Face reality, however tempting it is to start looking at Book Two. - Go over craft notes and courses again - Analyse extracts of books I admire and see if I can work out how they do it - Revision analysis for Book One. Tear the draft I just wrote to shreds. - Start the second draft
Project: Mum's Birthday Card
- Deadline is April 22nd (mums obviously haha) - No idea what to paint yet but I want to make her something as the gift I have for her is a DVD I really like as well which doesn't feel fair
Project: The Librarians Exchange (Art)- I am doubling so I have 2 assignments - Deadline is April 13th - I don't have much of an idea of what even to do yet /gulp
Project: Sketchbook The exchange art needs to come first as that has the deadline but I really need to commit to this.
- I have 2 top art books to go through (Loomis and Hampton)
- I want to do the 100 heads challenge (I think I did the first 6 when I attempted this the first time in 2021)
- Gesture / figure drawing is a big focus (character art)
- But I want to be able to draw everything. I have a lot of courses and I need to actually do the exercises and not just watch the videos
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Post by Kandybar on Apr 1, 2024 19:59:51 GMT -5
Ooo, yay! I'm excited to see how the point system works out!
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Post by galactic-pirates on Apr 7, 2024 13:38:00 GMT -5
84,584 / 75,000 words Goal: Get a minimum of 20 points from Tier 1 and 30 from Tier 2
The week kinda started ok - well sort of :/ I got 1 point for T1 and T2 on Monday, did the same on Tuesday. Wednesday is always chore day but I did get a T2 point. All of the T2 points were on reading and that's where I came unstuck because I finished the book... and I didn't start another /facepalm. Thursday I had to mark as ND (non-designated) because I got my haircut. Friday I got a T1 point. Saturday should have been designated but wasn't and I should have made up for it today but didn't. Anyway, it was a pretty poor showing for the first attempt at this new system. Especially as I didn't get 4 hours on any day either :/
Points: T1 = 3/20 T2 = 3/30 Project: Path of Fire (Books 1 - 3)
As expected, nothing yet.
Project: Mum's Birthday Card
Nothing yet
Project: The Librarians Exchange (Art)Oh boy. In which my ambition far outstrips my skill, and I also need to scale my ambition back because in addition to it being outside my capabilities, it was simply too big a project for the time available. I initially did a concept for 2 comic pages. The page was split into 3, and the top panel in 2 (so 4 panels per page). I have reduced that in half on the panels per page. I have the basic layout/poses all sketched out now. I just need to do all the rest of the work - all the actual linework, the inking, the painting etc. And it's a total mess. Like there are no outfits on most of the prelim sketches, no faces, no hair. It's bad and I have less than a week... I'm just not good enough for this
Project: Sketchbook As the theme is for the month - nothing yet
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Post by Kandybar on Apr 8, 2024 10:53:30 GMT -5
Maybe the point system needs tweaking? Or a smaller goal until you get used to it?
And don't be so hard on yourself re: the art exchange! It's for fun and I'm sure your recipient will love getting art, even if it's not perfect! Have you tried breaking it into tiny, baby steps? That helps me sometimes if a project feels overwhelming. Doing line art for the whole thing may be too much, but what about a panel at a time?
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Post by galactic-pirates on Apr 14, 2024 12:51:20 GMT -5
84,584 / 75,000 words Goal: Get a minimum of 20 points from Tier 1 and 30 from Tier 2
I'm going to give myself a pass this week for not doing all that well. On Tuesday I had a health scare which threw me, Friday I had an initial appointment to discuss trauma therapy (which obviously messed me up) and mum has been unwell all week and I've been worried about her. So the fact that I finished reading a truly awful book and worked on my exchange art is to be honest a miracle. It wasn't a very accomplished week but it was better than nothing!
Points: T1 = 4 (7/20) T2 = 4 (7/30) Project: Path of Fire (Books 1 - 3)
As expected, nothing yet. Project: Mum's Birthday Card
Making a not-so-surprising comeback from last month my guild website needs a little TLC. However, after I've dealt with that tomorrow this will be my primary focus. I don't know what I'm going to do as the subject of the card, I'm hoping an idea will come to me and quickly. It's the halfway point of the month tomorrow. I have more I need to do.
Project: The Librarians Exchange (Art)This was technically due yesterday but we're not posting until the 23rd (to allow for pinch-hits if people ghost) and as a mod I gave myself permission to be late haha. Anyway, I can't post a photo yet because I have stuck it under something heavy to try and flatten the paper. An attempt was made. It's not great but I've done worse. I've made notes of particular points that I need to focus on improving in future. Each project is a learning opportunity after all. Edit: They flattened great!
Project: Sketchbook As the theme is for the month - nothing yet
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Post by galactic-pirates on Apr 21, 2024 6:18:02 GMT -5
84,584 / 75,000 words Goal: Get a minimum of 20 points from Tier 1 and 30 from Tier 2
I'm still not doing all that well. I feel like I've lost grip somehow, like the week is vanishing and there is so much more I could - and should - have done.
Points: T1 = 3 (10/20) T2 = 5 (12/30) Project: Path of Fire (Books 1 - 3)
Nothing yet BUT I could feasibly start working on revising Book One tomorrow... I don't know if I will because mentally I don't feel ready. I've been finishing off little jobs this weekend and I haven't sort of got my head into a 'jumping into new big project' mode. Also it's mum's birthday tomorrow and I will see her at some point, though I'm spending the day with her on Tuesday (so her husband can be with her tomorrow, split custody - two birthdays haha). Anyway, I don't know. I'll have a think and see how I feel. Perhaps I could do some setup work, print it out, prep the folders/materials etc. even if I don't start diving into the analysis.
Project: Mum's Birthday Card
Done with markers and coloured pencils. It's not perfect but it's passable. I hope she'll like it!
Project: The Librarians Exchange (Art)Not art but still for the Librarians exchange. I had to spend some time this week writing a short oneshot fic as a pinch-hitter (someone had to drop out). I figured I would just say I did that. I'm trying to avoid writing fanfic but there was no way I could turn around art that fast. I'm not thrilled with the fic, it's not my usual thing at all, but it's done and meets the prompt, that's what matters. I'm not counting these words towards my yearly goal which is why that number hasn't changed. Project: Sketchbook Nothing yet and it's the last full week of the month next week... (where does time go?)
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