TW: Pet loss.




March has been a struggle. The position I was supposed to get was filled with someone else from one of the store's other locations (which... are they not a little short at that place now??) so I'm back to square one. The job market in this country this day is literally insane. We're hiring—but not you!

And you can see the warning there. I lost a pet. Her name was Sasha and she was actually my mom's cat, but she was adopted right when I was starting high school so I lived with her a good while before I moved out from my parents' house, and now that I'm living with them again I was there for the entire process. It all happened at home and she finally passed at 2:47am, roughly fourteen hours ago, and I directly watched her last moments. It was all so harrowing but I don't feel much of anything now. She lived to be about sixteen and had chronic issues the entire time my parents had her so I'm surprised she did manage to live as long as she did.

Productivity was decent, though. I think I'll be able to finish everything so I guess it was good I took into account the fact I might have a lot to focus on this month. Not a job, unfortunately, but loss is hard to work through. So the limitations are working in my favor regardless.

I am so sorry for everything *hugs* you take care of you. Hope the month improves!

I'm sorry about the loss of your cat. ::hugs::

Fortunately, I think the second half of March went really well, all things considered. I spent most of the past two weeks lethargic and really out of it, but things definitely could've been worse. I got a call back about a job on the 18th and started officially on the 20th, and I need to start looking for a new one already because there are too many people working the same position I do for me to be given very decent hours. But 10-16 hours a week will have to do until I can figure something else out. It's a fast food place, and the only fast food place I applied to in general because it was the smallest location in the general area. I've always feared fast food for a number of reasons—mostly because it's loud, and I'm the very noise-sensitive kind of autistic—but I was wrong. I absolutely love working fast food. And because most people hate it and because it's a pretty inherently degrading industry, the turnover rate tends to be too high for hiring managers to be too picky about who they select. So I'm optimistic! I'll see if I can secure more hours, but if that doesn't happen within two or three more weeks, I'll be sending applications out to other places.

The most negative thing I can say about the entire month (aside from the loss, the obvious thing) is the fact that I wasn't able to focus as much on reading as I'm usually able to. Stress and dissociation and whatever. But honestly, it's not a big deal.

I also really appreciate the kind words I've received in this thread. <3 It definitely made the month a little bit brighter.


March progress:

• Wrote 20,662 words.
• Completed all writing goals.
• Read Winter Moon.
• Read The Sword in the Stone.
• Read vol5-9 of Dungeon Meshi.
• Wrote two single-part fanfics.
• Edited & posted two single-part fanfics.
• Started reading Soul Wars.

April goals (edited):

• Write 15,000 words.
• Write ch7 of current project.
• Write ch17 of Into the Depths.
• Edit & post ch9-10 of Into the Depths.
• Finish reading Soul Wars.
• Read The Beginning of Another World.
• Read vol10-14 of Dungeon Meshi.
• Read entirety of Megamix.

Well done with everything you did *cheers* and yay for liking your job!! I wish you nothing but good things. Good luck in April *waves pom-poms*

I completely forgot I meant to update this, lol. I've been really fatigued lately and most of my free time has been spent asleep. Because of that, I've edited the objectives for this month to make them a little more realistic. I'm not fully confident I'll be able to meet them but I think that's all right. Hopefully I can find a doctor around here to figure out what's been wrong with me (I think it's about the nebulous thing growing in my side; it's neither cancer nor an enlarged organ, but every test done back in October have been entirely inconclusive otherwise)—but my dad recommended me a place that's been really reliable for him so I'm sure it won't be difficult!

Anyway, despite the trouble I've been having, I've been able to be productive with reading and writing to some degree. Not that it's necessary, though, considering that productivity really is just sleeping often and for long periods of time if that's what the body needs.

What I will say though. It's completely unrealistic to get through more than one Warhammer novel in a month at the best of times, lol. I always forget that high fantasy and science fiction are really difficult for me to read until I actually attempt it. I'm dyslexic, and as it turns out, books full of made-up fantasy/sci-fi names and terms are not actually super easy when reading in general is already a bit of a struggle. The only thing getting me through the Warcraft novels is the fact I've been playing since the MMO dropped. Though speaking of, instead of ordering the few Warcraft novels I do not have (I need a longer break than I've taken from them), I ordered the first four Log Horizon novels instead. I really liked that series when I was in high school and it remains to this day one of the very few actually good isekai to have ever been created—which is something I say as an isekai enthusiast. I love this genre so dearly but it does not love me back, and what a shame that is.

I hope you're able to figure out what's wrong! (And I feel you on the Warhammer novels. On top of the weird names, they're not always the best written because tie-in novels aren't being written for the literature aspect, if you know what I mean.) Good luck!

I hope you get answers and feel better soon *hugs* Take care of yourself!

I ended up really burnt out shortly after I posted my previous update, though I don't really know why. I think it's been the prolonged fatigue, but I think I've been regaining my energy and motivation over the past few days. Hopefully it sticks! I've missed reading consistently and I've missed writing daily.

I decided to read the first Log Horizon novel alongside Soul Wars so I could have something to read that wasn't a game franchise tie-in novel with mediocre writing, and that was indeed helpful but it also came with the consequence of not finishing either one, lol. I have one chapter left of the former and three (counting the epilogue) of the latter. Soul Wars is such a difficult book to get through. I've adjusted to the fantasy names and words well enough that my dyslexia isn't getting any more tripped up on them than on anything else, but it's the quality of the writing and the fact I can tell this author is incredibly talented. With a bit more guidance, extra attention to the clumsier sentences, and stricter editing overall, it really could've been made a masterpiece. Instead, it's absolutely riddled with the clumsiness, inconsistent writing choices, and general messiness of an incredibly, undeniably talented author's unpolished draft. Like... you couldn't have put a little more work into making this manuscript capable of living up to its potential? According to the friend who bought it for me (my interest in Warhammer begins, ends, and everything between solely with them) said this is supposed to be a beginner-friendly read—but as a certified beginner, it absolutely is not. The number of times I had to ask my friend clarifying questions only for them to inform me that any good beginner-friendly novel should explain what I wasn't getting is staggering.

And as a final note, as always, I really appreciate the kind replies to this thread!! <3


April progress:

• Wrote 24,390 words.
• Wrote ch17 of Into the Depths.
• Wrote single-part fanfic & ch1 of two-chapter fanfic.
• Posted ch9 of Into the Depths.
• Read vol10-14 of Dungeon Meshi.

May goals:

• Write 20,000 words.
• Finish ch7 of current project.
• Write ch18 of Into the Depths.
• Post ch10-11 of Into the Depths.
• Finish reading Soul Wars.
• Finish reading The Beginning of Another World.
• Read The Knights of Camelot.
• Read Game's End [Part 1].
• Read entire Mega Man manga.

I hope it sticks too! Fatigue sucks good luck with your goals and I hope you enjoy the other book!